Writing is Hard: An Ode to Tears

First of all, a HUGE thank you for being patient as I write my little fingers into oblivion!! This has been an über challenging experience for me.  

I've discovered that writing a novel + writing blog posts + writing a new music course for the Spring = ALOT OF WRITING. *crosses eyes*

Seriously, my eyes ache. They hate me so hard right now. 

But the good news is the first week of NaNoWriMo 2015 has officially come and gone, and we are already halfway through Week Two!!! 


How I think I'm doing:




Don't get me wrong. It's been fun. Good times to be had all around. *throws awkward gang sign

But if this has shown me anything, it's that I would have a very hard time being a full-time writer. Give me all the books to read, and I will review to my heart's desire.

Don't make me write the books.

Please. No.

*whimpering noises*

I can safely say (with some measure of authority on the subject) that singing for a living is easier then this!!! For reals: quit the day job, become a YAPTracker.com / ClassicalSinger.com slut who waits for new gigs, and stalk Renée Fleming and Joyce DiDonato like the rest of us (Singers: you know you've watched their Masterclasses on Youtube way too many times...). Congratulations: you're now an aspiring singer. 

Honestly, I think it's just that the creative processes are so inherently different. Writing feels so internal, while singing is overtly external.

Which strangely feels completely natural for me. I'm a self-proclaimed INFJ, but singing is the one venue in which I don't shirk from excessive external amplification of emotions. 

I thought I'd share my thoughts so far on this whole creative process, presented in of a List of Tears:


1. Tears for Craziness:

Apparently perfectionism is kryptonite to writers. I found myself writing 1000 words at a time, then manically rereading what I had just written, pouring over the words with a fine-toothed comb...editing like a CRAZY WOMAN

According to professionals, this is MUY MUY MAL. So very bad.

The whole point to this project is to practice getting the idea onto paper in the form of a horrible, ugly, confidance-killing first draft.

Then you can go back and butcher it like a literary serial killer.

I'm still struggling with this one...


2. Tears for Writers Who Came Before Us:

Seriously: How did writers do this before technology swooped in?!? Before Spotify, Pinterest, Youtube, Google Maps...


I've got 3 Pinterest boards on my Pinterest account with pictures of concept art for topography, culture, architecture, characters, weather, etc. Now if I get writer's block or can't visualize something clearly, I just pop over to my Pinterest and find an image that fits. 

Concept art for Kratoria (based roughly on Prague/Italy):

Concept art for Character Inspiration:

Concept art for Cryoth & Donar (mountains & woodlands):

I think I've made my point.


3. Tears for my Neglected TBR Pile:

How can you read anything during this process?? Anything I read instantly absorbs into my short-term memory, which then is regurgitated into my writing... 

Currently, I'm (slowly) reading Shadow and Bone by the amazing Leigh Bardugo. I live in constant fear that my characters in my NaNoWriMo novel are going to start speaking in heavy Russian accents while taking vodka shots. 


4. Last but not least... Happy Tears!!

Will I hit the 50,000 word mark by Nov. 30th? Pretty sure. 98.999(repeating)% confidant it's gonna happen...

Will I finish this in one month? NO. 

Will my manuscript ever be published? Lord, I hope not. I'll probably put it up on Fictionpress.com just to get some beta-readers for constructive criticism, but THAT IS ALL.

Was this a huge mistake? Hell to the no. 

I'm so excited to finally see this story start to take shape!! As of today, I'm up to >16,000 words (roughly 6 chapters), and the transformation that these characters have undergone since I first told their story 10 years ago is mind-blowing! They've grown up with me through the years, and now I can't wait to see what that means for them and their goals...

Stay tuned for a book review over Rosamund Hodge's Cruel Beauty, a Beauty & The Beast retelling via Greek mythology! 

And Happy Writing to all my fellow NaNoWriMo Buddies!